


41. exit wounds

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [37]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 15:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7690249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah is very quiet for a moment. She says, voice wavering: “I don’t want to die.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	41. exit wounds

“We’re not both gonna make it,” Sarah gasps, “you know we aren’t.”

Helena makes a horrible sound that, at a better time, would go something like _shh_. This is not that time. Helena has her hand pressed to her stomach, hard, but her fingers are still turning red. She doesn’t look at Sarah – she knows what color Sarah is.

“We are,” she says, like a liar. One of them needs to lie. She had thought it would be Sarah – thought Sarah’s ability to lie to her would never falter, never fail. Of course it fails now. When Helena needs it.

Sarah doesn’t say anything. Helena says again: “We need to. People need us. We need to.”

“Tried that one before,” Sarah says, words sharp breaths exhaled between her teeth. “Gettin’ sloppy, yeah?” She laughs, a desperate wheeze. Helena loves her so much; she wants to say what it’s like, that love, but all of the metaphors hurt too much. Bang bang.

“I will think of better words,” Helena says, “after. This.”

“No you won’t,” Sarah says. Helena closes her eyes, tight, and then turns to look at her. Helena’s sister, slumped next to her on the floor, both of them leaning against the wall. Helena’s sister bleeding. Helena loves her like any number of loud and violent deaths. She wants to lean her head on Sarah’s shoulder. She doesn’t, though – it would feel too much like giving up.

“I will,” Helena says, “just to say _I told you so_.”

Sarah is very quiet for a moment. She says, voice wavering: “I don’t want to die.”

“Nobody wants to die _, sestra_ ,” Helena says. She goes back to looking up, and up, and up.

“Some people do,” Sarah says. Helena doesn’t need to look at Sarah to know she’s looking up too. Where good souls go: up and up and up forever.

“I am glad,” she says quietly, “that those people are not you.”

“Not like it matters.”

“No,” Helena says. “But.” She shrugs a shoulder, makes a sharp upset sound at the way it pulls. “I am glad anyways.”

“Besides,” she adds, “I heard it is like falling asleep.”

Sarah lets out a slightly louder breath, a quiet cousin to a snort. “Bullshit.”

“Kind shits, though. Nice ones.”

“Good shits,” Sarah says, and then she laughs, and then she screams and stops laughing. Blood pumping faster. One of the copi—othe—one of Helena’s sis— _Janika_ had an hourglass on a table, and in

the struggle Helena knocked it off. It shattered open on the ground. Sand everywhere. Helena doesn’t know why she’s thinking about it only she does, she does know.

“Only the best shits for you, _sestra_ ,” she says. The words are quiet in the post-scream silence; they sound like they mean more than they do. All sorts of things that there is not enough blood left in either of them to say. For you. For you.

Sarah tries a laugh again but it doesn’t make it out of her throat. Helena can’t feel her toes, and no matter how hard she tries she can’t remember what color the sky was yesterday. Oh. Already. She isn’t ready, but she doesn’t really think that matters.

A sudden weight: Sarah’s head on her shoulder. Helena lifts her blood-slippery hand from her stomach and twines her fingers with Sarah. They sit together, and wait for the end to come.


End file.
